Tomagrams

Bonjour Monsieur Cyrano de Raspbergerac

Bonjour Monsieur Cyrano de Raspbergerac

In-house tableau: homegrown homage to Cyrano I just can’t finish off the week without one more nod to a produce proboscis. With the last of my Tulameen raspberries gracing but a few stems, I felt the need to have one also grace the end of […]

Shockingly Simple Solution to Plumber’s Butt

Shockingly Simple Solution to Plumber’s Butt

Horrified housewife frozen in fear by butt crack arising. Life’s journey can take you down a myriad of paths, around a couple detours, and sometimes back to where you started, but I really had no idea I was approaching the exit to the Plumber’s Butt […]

Cleaning Up: A Gift Bag of Good Intentions

Cleaning Up: A Gift Bag of Good Intentions

Clearly, there’s a message in these bottles. Last week I received a less than subtle rebuke regarding my slovenly ways, make that alleged slovenly ways. Momentarily taken back by the frightful experience of retrieving a cold drink from my refrigerator, my friend Tyson felt compelled […]

When a Critic Came to Roost or…Does a Bird Poop in the Kitchen?

When a Critic Came to Roost or…Does a Bird Poop in the Kitchen?

Direct hit: a disapproving dive bomb, a bird’s rebuke on my blog? Yesterday the mercury neared 70 degrees, a veritable heatwave for the Pacific Northwest! With every door wide open to capture the moment, I returned from planting kale to find an airborne intruder in […]

Lawn Mowing Hypothesis Tested and Confirmed

Lawn Mowing Hypothesis Tested and Confirmed

After weeks of extensive testing and observation, I can unequivocally and confidently say my hypothesis holds true; the lawn is not going to mow itself.

Today’s Special…And So Is Tomorrow

Today’s Special…And So Is Tomorrow

Whether tap water, hard cider (above) or French Champagne, drink up, toast the day. I have a quirk (okay, maybe a lot of quirks), but I’m not so sure this slant has served me well. I often keep something for a special occasion or reserve […]

Today’s Proverb: A Load of Crap

Today’s Proverb: A Load of Crap

Today’s Proberb (based on local feedback) He who has a parcel of errands in town, should refrain from first loading his truck with manure…or perhaps If one’s truck is full of crap, stay home (until emptied). “What? We don’t smell anything?” B&G: My two shotgun-riding […]

Sorry Ma’am, I’m Out of Jam (for Now)

Sorry Ma’am, I’m Out of Jam (for Now)

With my last jar of jam (apricot) spoken for, I am officially out of preserves. Seasonal changes surround me, bare branches have a costume change, bluebells break through beds of dried leaves, and winged choruses serenade me early and often. The signs of spring are […]

Being Followed by More Than a Moon Shadow

Being Followed by More Than a Moon Shadow

I’m not sure if it’s the snoring bulldogs (who share a combined decibel level of an idling chainsaw) or the sump pump activation two floors below or the play of light casting shadows on my bedroom wall or even the several cups of high-octane coffee […]

Making My Mark on Curing the Common Cold

Making My Mark on Curing the Common Cold

Like most men, I complain when I’m sick. (Cough, sneeze, whine, repeat.) Fortunately for friends and family alike, Boz and Gracie endure my pithy in-house pronouncements so no one else has to (that is unless you call me or knock on my door, then the […]