A day of bad moves, bandages and boo-boos.
We all have bad days, and I must admit that if the following is all I have to complain about, life ain’t so bad. But since I’m in a whiny, feeling-sorry-for-myself kind of mood, please indulge me, and feel free to offer up your own complaints. This is a pity party after all.
The other day things just weren’t going my way and I felt like I was living in my own country song, so I thought I’d write it down just in case Blake Shelton or Tim McGraw were reading along.
Now for the record, not all of these things happened, but when I initially tallied up my laments, my song just didn’t have enough tailspin to seem authentic, so I fabricated a few more calamities to the enrich my tune of woe.
My Country Song Kinda Day
by Tom “Tall Clover” Conway
The day was like any other day, it started out the same.
Then things began to fall apart, went south and got real lame.
The planets must have been out of line or my karma points overdrawn,
‘Cuz I practically cut off my foot when I went to mow the lawn.
My mailbox took a drive-by hit from kids without a clue,
My barefoot stroll came to a halt thanks to a landmine pile of poo.
My toilet’s clogged, ain’t a pretty sight, someone used an entire roll,
Guess they didn’t see my handwritten note “Less tissue’s better for the bowl”
My dogs rolled in some dead old thing then jumped on my bed to rest,
Proceeded to lift a leg or two on my favorite Filson vest,
A flock of crows landed unannounced to have a bite of lunch,
Cleaned out a row of corn and oats, gobbled cherries by the bunch.
My elbow found a bowl to hit, one full of berry juice,
Gravity saw an opportunity, but my floor took the abuse.
A door-to-door disciple dropped by to share his thoughts on hell,
He took one whiff of my vested self, and said, “Sir what is that smell?”
I happened on some nettles, met a nest of hornets and their stings,
My head swelled up like Frankenstein’s, while I danced a Highland fling.
And now for the refrain…
You see some days are good and some days are bad,
Some days you laugh a lot, some days you’re really sad,
So I guess I’ll quit my whining, and be grateful for what I’ve got
Enjoy the smiles, change what I can, and ignore what I cannot.
Life can be good on a bad day, just breathe and press right on,
Who knows, you may have a hit on your hands, with the saddest country song.
Maybe things would improved if I cleaned off my desk and returned some library books.