I’m not sure if it’s the snoring bulldogs (who share a combined decibel level of an idling chainsaw) or the sump pump activation two floors below or the play of light casting shadows on my bedroom wall or even the several cups of high-octane coffee the day before, but insomnia has become my late night date this winter. I often toss and turn for hours, then finally acquiesce and get out of bed.
As I let gravity and sloping floors usher me downstairs at an ungodly hour, my first stop is the thermostat, my second the kitchen table, morning headquarters of Tom’s one-man coffee klatsch. The tabletop is a mosaic of clutter, which includes, but is not limited to, a week’s worth of mail, an orchid on suicide watch, and a brooding stack of overdue library books. I complete the chaotic puzzle by fitting my laptop in the only parcel of vacant real estate left. The space heater kicks on and the ceiling shakes; Boz and Gracie are officially up and off my bed, their eight-legged runaway train trundling down the stairs in search of an open door or full dog dish. Beneath my feet and those of the table, a tangle of cords speaks to the shortcomings of my outlet-challenged nook. I plug my laptop in and thank the circuit for obliging.
Now up and enjoying minty fresh breath, I log on. Hands poised to type, glasses on, and coffee brewing, my vision blurs and my head hinges slowly downward. Regaining my upright posture, I try again. Uh, oh, neck muscles are not cooperating and my chin requires chest support. (This is not looking good.) I begin to feel sleepy, very very sleepy. My eyelids are growing heavy. As I’ve learned drooling on one’s laptop can void the warranty, I take my lead from Boz and Gracie and head over to the sofa. A quick nap is in order. About the time a dream takes me to Bora Bora, a set of bruise-proof knuckles collides repeatedly with my front door.
Startled, I jump up and head toward the disturbance (fright wig and baggy eyes intact). I open the door. My visitor looks puzzled and declares, “I can’t believe you are still in bed!”