Who You Callin’ a Weed Wench

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In the bramble patchAttack of the brambles! See what I go through for a good berry pie.

I recently received an email from a friend who has the greenest of thumbs. Michelle of Pacific Potager was sharing information about her latest discovery, the Weed Wench, a miraculous tool that uses simple leverage to pull out the most stubborn root systems of the most pervasive weeds, which around here means Scotch broom, English holly, and Himalayan blackberry (Thank you Luther Burbank.)

scotch broom in bloom on Vashon IslandScotch Broom in bloom, a sea of gold best viewed on your neighbor’s property.

I read with interest as my front field and side pasture are about to be consumed by both. I thought Weed Wench, what a funny if not audacious name for a garden tool. I envisioned a troupe of lusty barmaids (on leave from their buccaneer boyfriends), tossing back a few stouts and taking out taproots that reach Taipei as if plucking drinking straws from a malted. I was certain of one thing, that the manufacturer of Weed Wench likely endures some spirited feedback  from female customers.

encroaching blackberry brambles Think I’m kidding about invasive? In just one week, this bramble had insinuated itself into my dining room. (Time for new French doors.)

As I searched for the tool’s official website, I was treated to a wide array of curious results: pirates smoking doobies, bar maids in compromising positions and costumers eager to satisfy any swashbuckler’s (or cross-dresser’s) fantasy.

I could see I was seeking the wrong kind of Weed Wench. I went back to Michelle’s email. There upon closer examination were the words: WEED WRENCH.

Oh, well that explains it. I don’t know though, I think I like Weed Wench better… Ayyyyyy Matey!

The official Weed Wrench site: WeedWrench.com.

homemade blackberry peach pieI’m not a total bramble slayer. I relent in late summer, designating September as Blackberry Appreciation Month (Double-crust, peach-blackberry pie shown).

13 COMMENTS

  1. Tom – your pie looks amazing. I look forward each year to juicy humongous blackberries! We at the moment are under nearly a foot of snow, however, I do have frozen berries in the freezer. Time for pie!

  2. Tom, Anyone who can appreciate the origins of Burbank’s many plants is someone I can appreciate in turn – nice job.

    If you wouldn’t mind running around your orchard and getting me maybe 20-30 first year shoots of some of your beautiful apple trees, I would love to graft them up, as we are doing grafting this year and next. Perhaps a trade for some other plants/material you are interested in?

    Give me a message –

    Dom
    ebacherdom at gmailcom

  3. Tom

    Your pie is extraordinary! I can just imagine the tangy fruit inside, heaven!
    All this work to get rid of weeds, I’d be discouraged; can someone else do it, for a pie or food? or hiring a goat perhaps?

  4. Tom, the pie looks mouth watering. I agree with you about September as I am a Berry Addict also. Each year, I endure the pain and agony of the brambles for the perfect plump berry. I have a freezer dedicated in its entirety to blackberries.

  5. Tom can you search for anything these days without wading through risques pictures, offers and costumes…just search wood to see what i mean

  6. Tom

    Your pie looks really good but I was a lot more fascinated by the whole “weed wench” concept. Who knew!?! My dentist is a huge fan of pirate jokes and I kept thinking of that while you were referring to all those buccaneer boyfriends, etc. Of course I only remember one and it is a bit racy. Starts out, “So a pirate walks into a bar with a big wooden steering wheel from a pirate ship sticking out of his pants…”

  7. Well, the title got me to look! And I’m always needing another weeding tool. Maybe that’s a new concept – wenches that go around weeding. Bet it’d be a best selling idea!

  8. Tom, let me know how those weed wenches work out, I’ll even buy them ferry tickets to come over and attack my neighbors scotch broom! Love the snow pics, there is just something magical about an island in the snow. Sandi on AI

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