Home Tomagrams True Confessions as a Smartphone Laggard

True Confessions as a Smartphone Laggard

cell phone, schmelphone
My advanced cellphone: a cordless land line with a clip.

Early adopter I am not. Here it is 2014, and I have yet to embrace the smartphone and the technology that spread like a virus to every digit in the hand and land. Okay maybe that’s a little strong, but I have to ask myself am I comfortable with a tool that will affront my comfort levels of privacy and courtesy in the name of convenience and accessibility to kitten videos?  Go ahead mock me, call me a laggard, but I argue some advances seem good to begin with and then they consume your life before you can text “OMG.”

Even with my feet firmly planted in Geezer-ville, I’m sure one day I will succumb to the need to be electronically leashed and connected to the entire planet, but for now I prefer conversation to texting, and eye contact to distraction. And if I may be totally candid, my frugality plays a role in the decision to be smartphone free. The idea of paying over one-thousand dollars a year for the privilege of being available 24/7 is as unpalatable to me as the cost of printer ink cartridges.

In my defense, I do like some advancements. For instance, I found a solution for missing my landline calls when I’m out in the orchard or garden. I secured a clip to my cordless phone, allowing it to affix nicely to my uniform du jour, a white v-neck t-shirt. I’ve quadrupled my range (when I remember to wear it). I’m now available all the way out to the pear trees, half way back to the greenhouse and comfortably lounging in my hammock (though bulldog snoring does cause me to repeat myself on occasion).

By  adding a pocket clip to my cordless phone, I’ve increased my reception range about 150 feet in each direction. Now that is progress (at least for me). And just in case you are wondering, yes, I do have electricity and indoor plumbing.


  1. You’re not alone. Hubby and I do not have a smart phone. I am intimidated by technology, not to mention the whole privacy issue. That said, we would sorta kinda like one–for our travels. Imagine being able to find a hotel when you’re out on the road. No having to find a restaurant with WiFi. Heavenly. But again, I am worried the phone will be smarter than me!

  2. Hillarious – great photo too!

    Apple, Microsoft (and now Amazon) better watch out! You may be singlehandedly starting a whole back to basics movement…

    I would have posted my reply via my smart phone, but I couldn’t find it. Maybe I need a cool clip like yours!

    Best regards…

    • Randy I count on you to keep me in the loop, so hang on to the smartphone (once you find it) and keep me posted if you think it’s time I enter this century.

  3. Tom, your thoughts are valid, cell phones (and computers) do take over your life. On the other hand, I have been available to answer some pretty splendid calls from friends and children because I was within range. Don’t fall prey to these fads. We may all be able to admire you someday on a virtual tour of “The Last Holdouts.”

    • Gail, I like that “Last Holdouts.” I see a PBS special in the making, just hope they don’t play any Deliverance banjo music for the soundtrack.

  4. Tom, I’m so thrilled to know there are still a few of us left on the planet. The only time I use a cell phone is when I drive across country — road trips (Tracfone for emergencies). When I’m working, I’m glued to a phone and my computer 8 to 10 hours a day. And yeah, I have voice mail AND email. Then when I’m away from my desk and my computer — that’s exactly where I am, Away! And guess what happens when I get back? — There are voice mail messages and emails for me to read and reply to, and nothing awful happens either. It’s magic I tell you!

    And even though I work in a high-tech industry, I do not have to be connected every instant of the day and night. Living that way, to me, just sounds nuts. I ain’t gonna do it. I will never be one of those people having dinner at home or in a restaurant checking my email or responding to a ring or text. It also prevents me from walking into walls and poles because I can actually see things in front of me rather than relying on peripheral vision. The other nice thing is when someone speaks to me, I’m coherent enough to hear them, and not all wrapped up in this little tiny electronic device that seems to run too many people’s lives.

    So, here’s to the folks who know the world can get along without them for a few hours, or even days, or maybe even weeks!

    In the grand scheme of things, we’re not all that important anyway. 🙂


    ps – the best thing ever invented was Hane’s and Fruit of the Loom, Men’s V-neck T-shirts. I just bought a new pack of 8 for $20.

    • Cindy you are quickly becoming my go-to girl for sage advice. I agree on all counts, and then I read the PS, and well, I teared up. 😉

  5. My last mobile lasted 7 years. After two months of recycling my kids’ older phones and friends offering to buy me a new state-of-the-art, my husband chucked a wobbly and bought me an I-phone behind my back. Ruddy turncoat. It all feels very wrong and impractical to upgrade so often. Such a waste.

    • Jacqui, I promise to give you full credit, but “Ruddy Turncoat” will not die with this comment. I plan to use it early and often. Brilliant!

  6. No smartphones here either. In fact, Big Guy traded his in when he retired and gave up all the free texting. Me? I’m not tech savy enough to own one. Heck, I’m still trying to figure out how to use my new cuisinart. LOL

  7. June, that is as it should be, a beautifully undisturbed day on the Oregon coast, with the exception of a few pulses from a new and soon to be well-used cuisinart!

  8. Okay, Tom, I’m laughing out loud here! Love the outfit! I must admit that when I retired, I “retired” my smart phone to a drawer and went back to a “cheaper” flip top phone. I CAN text with this phone but it’s so aggravating with a flip top phone, I usually just manage an “ok” and they know if they want anymore words, they can CALL me on the telephone! 😉

    • Dianne, I once tried to text my ride on a tracfone while on our 20-minute ferry crossing. I finally managed to send the message that I was arriving soon, but by then the ferry had docked. Smoke signals would have been quicker for me to send. 😉

  9. Tom, We were given 2 iphones- old ones , which apparently serve no purpose but to clutter up drawers of the techies. My mother would be horrified. Heck, I’m horrified, what a waste. Anyhoo, they function as our computers now.

  10. Update: I had a full load of laundry yesterday that consisted of only Hanes V-neck men’s t-shirts. I think I have enough now to keep me going. 😉

  11. Remember what Einstein said, Tom. “I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.” Ditch the clip. 🙂


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