A day of bad moves, bandages and boo-boos.
We all have bad days, and I must admit that if the following is all I have to complain about, life ain’t so bad. But since I’m in a whiny, feeling-sorry-for-myself kind of mood, please indulge me, and feel free to offer up your own complaints. This is a pity party after all.
The other day things just weren’t going my way and I felt like I was living in my own country song, so I thought I’d write it down just in case Blake Shelton or Tim McGraw were reading along.
Now for the record, not all of these things happened, but when I initially tallied up my laments, my song just didn’t have enough tailspin to seem authentic, so I fabricated a few more calamities to the enrich my tune of woe.
My Country Song Kinda Day
by Tom “Tall Clover” Conway
The day was like any other day, it started out the same.
Then things began to fall apart, went south and got real lame.
The planets must have been out of line or my karma points overdrawn,
‘Cuz I practically cut off my foot when I went to mow the lawn.
My mailbox took a drive-by hit from kids without a clue,
My barefoot stroll came to a halt thanks to a landmine pile of poo.
My toilet’s clogged, ain’t a pretty sight, someone used an entire roll,
Guess they didn’t see my handwritten note “Less tissue’s better for the bowl”
My dogs rolled in some dead old thing then jumped on my bed to rest,
Proceeded to lift a leg or two on my favorite Filson vest,
A flock of crows landed unannounced to have a bite of lunch,
Cleaned out a row of corn and oats, gobbled cherries by the bunch.
My elbow found a bowl to hit, one full of berry juice,
Gravity saw an opportunity, but my floor took the abuse.
A door-to-door disciple dropped by to share his thoughts on hell,
He took one whiff of my vested self, and said, “Sir what is that smell?”
I happened on some nettles, met a nest of hornets and their stings,
My head swelled up like Frankenstein’s, while I danced a Highland fling.
Boz may be licking his lips, but it seems he is no fan of raspberry juice.
And now for the refrain…
You see some days are good and some days are bad,
Some days you laugh a lot, some days you’re really sad,
So I guess I’ll quit my whining, and be grateful for what I’ve got
Enjoy the smiles, change what I can, and ignore what I cannot.
Life can be good on a bad day, just breathe and press right on,
Who knows, you may have a hit on your hands, with the saddest country song.
(The end)
Maybe things would improved if I cleaned off my desk and returned some library books.
It does sound like a pretty bad day. I think you’ll be hearing from Tim McGraw soon !
And what are the band-aids for ???
Great song, Tom! Tune could be either delta blues or Irish lament…blues would be my choice if I’d had a day like that.
Tom, this is so good!! Not what happened to you
but your song!! I think with the right music and
the right person singing it …..It could become quite the hit!! You Sir are a jack- of- all -trades!!
P.S. I hope your boo-boos feel better soon 🙂
Yes, return the library books. That will make you feel much, much better. So, scaring off the disciple is a bad thing? Maybe he’ll come back and help you with some of those chores. Oh no! Are you making us do algebra to comment? 😉
Renae, I only ask for you to add small numbers, luckily spam-bots are really bad at that. Humanoids are impressively good at first grade math. 😉
Brooks, big injuries, a couple splinters and a head brush with a wicked bramble. Amazing I survived. 😉
Love the song had to read it actually humming it along a simple country tune 😉 Hope you feel better soon.
Tom – I hope it was not true about the hornets! Love the song…we all have those kind of days! 🙂
Encore, encore!!!!!
I am extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify
it yourself? Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it’s rare to see a nice blog like this one today.
I love how you added, well, not everything happened, so I added in a few things to round out the song…. ain’t that how life rolls!!??
I agree with Martha-it should be a Blues tune. Bluesmen have much better names too like “Blind Tommy Conway”, “Blind Georgia Tom”, or “Blind Dog Tom”. With a Blues tune you don’t have to come up with some “it’s gonna git better syrup”. You can just waller in your self-made misery and be the better for it! Sorry,you didn’t make the “Country cut” cause your dogs didn’t run off with your best friend, your woman didn’t steal your truck, you didn’t mention how much you love your mama and America, and lastly you didn’t lose your farm to locust, the bank or Monsanto. Yep, you’re a Bluesman Tom through and through. Remember-there’s no light at the end of the blues tunnel!!! Much more satisfying just to drink the sad story to the last drop without sweetening it!!
I have to say, I’ve been feeling a little sorry for myself lately. But after reading this — things here seem much better ‘-) I also see a Grammy in your future.
were you weed wacking again!?
Feeling’ yer pain, Tall…
Whilst reading this I saw a montage in my head of all the things happening to you.
Your music video would end with you resting on your hammock, Boz and Gracie suddenly looking up as if startled, and running off. Then the kiwi vine comes into frame and engulfs you leaving only an empty hammock in the shot. Fade to black.
I can only agree with you on many of those things. Sad as it may be, we need these small disturbances to exsist to truly cherish the great happenings that we get as well.
Although I would be angry about the crows. Should invest in heat-seeking missles…
What a bad bad day for you! We all have them, you know! That song sounds pretty down! 🙁
But I laughed when reading it! 🙂
Thanks for sharing it all with us!
Tom – sorry to hear that you were attacked by a vicious bramble! I have been snagged by my Cecile Brunner rose more than once and those thorns can really sting! Be sure to have some medicinal vodka – it’s good for the pain.
Last day of school today and I managed to tip the scooter over – in the rain – at one of the busiest intersections in Tacoma! Broke off the left turn signal (fixed later with black electrical tape) and was seriously annoyed because NO ONE even rolled down their car window to see if I was all right! POO!
Oh, well – “and so it goes”. Keep a look out for some winter honey appearing magically in your mailbox! And, watch out for weed whackers! They have a nasty bite!
Aww. I hate when that happens. Sounds like you had a really bad day if even half of those events are true! I hear the sun will be back in a few days and will stick around for a while so that should cheer you up!
I love to hear about other people’s (petty) miseries! Yours put me in a good mood, thanks Tom! Love the photo, so descriptive!
Dear Tom,
Even though you were having a bad one, I can still see what a positive and happy person you are.
Keep on smiling, great pics!!
You are an ispiration.
A man of many talents… an ever-s0-slightly clumsy man… but, talented nonetheless 🙂
Reminds me of the old classic by John Denver: “some days are diamonds…some days are stone”. 😉
Well said, Dianne (and John)
Newbie here… Love your writing. I think I wish I was Boz!