The Bargain I Didn’t Bag

17
84

Bye, bye, Mr Bargain Hunt Guy, drove my pickup to the thrift store but the bargains weren’t nigh. And silver hair grannies were drinking cocoa and chai, the day the bargains died.

On a recent trip to our island thrift store, Granny’s Attic, I stood in awe of an audacious offering: bagged fibers for $3.00. And my dear crafter pals, before you chastise me and share the various and awesome projects one can undertake employing used fiber, hear me out. This zip-locked treasure was seemingly the byproduct of an islander’s last load of jammies and hiking socks; yep, it was dryer lint in a sandwich bag . And while I can’t identify dog hair accurately, I’d venture to say the launderer shared quarters with a Siberian Husky (or grizzly bear).

At first I thought, hmmm, maybe it’s a wee bag of special fiber, combings from the rare Andean vicuna, the underbelly shedding of free-range chinchillas or even vestiges of a high-end knitting or felting project. As I looked closer, sliding my glasses forward down my nose, I inspected the bag’s contents with greater scrutiny (if that’s possible). One light touch secured my further disbelief. It was even worse than I thought; they were selling man-made fiber in bag. Acrylic, there I said it.

Uh, price check on aisle five…

In all fairness, I suspect someone in the back sorting room was just having a good laugh planting the curious bag for would-be bargain hunters to find. No doubt peeking through the door at the puzzled guy poring over a bag of unnatural fibers. So Merry Christmas Granny’s Attic, you got me. And may I salute your hard working (and cheeky) crew, and the fact that as a  nonprofit thrift store you issued $50,000 in grants to island charities. I believe I’m personally accountable for one quarter of that figure (bags of dryer lint notwithstanding).

17 COMMENTS

  1. Dryer lint is so weird. I have to admit that in 40 years of doing laundry, the bulk of that for a family of five, I always had the urge to save it, it seemed so soft and it might make a really good pillow. Then after your post I googled it, there are so many uses. It is truly weird,thank you for discovering it all over again.

  2. You have got to be kidding. They were selling dryer lint? I know there was a Canadian guy on an American late night talk show who made ‘art’ from layers of colours of dryer lint. I have ever since been curious about uses for it. But would I package it and sell it at the Farmer’s Market? Nah, I don’t think so.

  3. Dang it Tom! I had to re-read again, I am friggin crying I am laughing so hard! Thank you for brightening my day…I don’t dare read it again or I won’t make it to the bathroom for laughing so hard! I can’t believe I just wrote this, dang, so if necessary delete ok? hugs to you for brightening my day! 🙂

  4. It leaves me (almost) speechless! You can have mine for free and there’s no pet hair in it. I’ll put it aside for you. It has to be a joke-did you ask? T.

  5. A long long time ago
    I can still remember how
    That bargain hunting made me smile
    And I knew if I had a hint
    That I could make people buy dryer lint
    And maybe they’d be happy for a while
    But success made me cheat
    I stopped using dryer sheets
    I overwashed all my jeans
    I purchased three more machines
    I can’t remember if I lied
    When I told them what was contained inside
    But some things must transcend my pride
    **The day the bargains died

  6. OMG! That granny is sure crafty! But after shopping on eBay and when you think how the 1st sale was a broken laser pointer! And when asked by the founder of eBay if he was aware that it was broken? The guy said,”Yeah,I collect broken laser pointers.” And by that sale the founder of eBay said,” I think I got something here”…! Amazing! It really takes all kinds and when I clean out the lint from the dryer screen
    I will always reflex on that baggie of lint you came upon and think,Hey! I might just have something here!! lol 😀

  7. Joan, step away from the computer, put the credit card down. Wait maybe I’m wrong, are you up to 25 cats yet? Might as well get a sweater out of the effort. 😉

  8. No credit card involved. The LIBRARY, I say again. Which is funny on two counts: someone actually authored the book and the library system spent county funds to purchase it. And quit telling people I have 25 cats. I’m doing well keeping the number in single digits. And the house is still clean. You have a birthday coming up in the near future so you might be surprised what crafty item I come up with for your present………….

  9. Still had this post in my In Box. You’ll laugh, but I’ve actually used dryer lint before to start campfires. Works great! Probably toxic in some form, but at least I am recycling. 😉 I always remember that Amy Dacyczyn’s (Tightwad Gazette) son used dryer lint to make a globe or map of the world or something. LOL

    Happy New Year, Tom!
    Shirley

  10. OK, I had a quick read through of the comments, I think I got it. If I have 25 cats, and 3 dryers, I can build my own small planet, with the lint, and light a bonfire… think maybe I lost something in the translation? LOL

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here