True Confessions as a Smartphone Laggard{21}

cell phone, schmelphone

My advanced cellphone: a cordless land line with a clip.

Early adopter I am not. Here it is 2014, and I have yet to embrace the smartphone and the technology that spread like a virus to every digit in the hand and land. Okay maybe that’s a little strong, but I have to ask myself am I comfortable with a tool that will affront my comfort levels of privacy and courtesy in the name of convenience and accessibility to kitten videos?  Go ahead mock me, call me a laggard, but I argue some advances seem good to begin with and then they consume your life before you can text “OMG.”

Even with my feet firmly planted in Geezer-ville, I’m sure one day I will succumb to the need to be electronically leashed and connected to the entire planet, but for now I prefer conversation to texting, and eye contact to distraction. And if I may be totally candid, my frugality plays a role in the decision to be smartphone free. The idea of paying over one-thousand dollars a year for the privilege of being available 24/7 is as unpalatable to me as the cost of printer ink cartridges.

In my defense, I do like some advancements. For instance, I found a solution for missing my landline calls when I’m out in the orchard or garden. I secured a clip to my cordless phone, allowing it to affix nicely to my uniform du jour, a white v-neck t-shirt. I’ve quadrupled my range (when I remember to wear it). I’m now available all the way out to the pear trees, half way back to the greenhouse and comfortably lounging in my hammock (though bulldog snoring does cause me to repeat myself on occasion).

By  adding a pocket clip to my cordless phone, I’ve increased my reception range about 150 feet in each direction. Now that is progress (at least for me). And just in case you are wondering, yes, I do have electricity and indoor plumbing.